So its official

Ahhhhh!!!!! I had so much written out. I just checked one thing and boom it's all gone.  So let's start over... we have our first appointment with the oncologist Thursday, December 27th. I am terrified of what she is going to say.  I don't know if I am strong enough to do this. I am scared I'm going to lose my husband, my best friend and my rock. He has always been the strong one. I'm doing my best to keep it completely together.  That I have been extremely successful at hiding how I feel, I've only broken down twice in front of him. I always knew because of our age difference that I would lose him before I was ready, but then that leaves the question is anyone ever really ready to be told they have cancer.  He is my bestfriend he is my safety net and he is my rock. I loved this man for more than half my life.  I am not used to being the strong one. I feel like I am loosing him to a battle I don't know how to fight.  Hopefully we will get some answers on Thu

It is 3 words you never want to hear.  But once you have your emotions take over.  You get mad. You cry, you don't know what to do next. But you know you are now in the fight for or of your life.  Whether it's your life you're your husband's. My husband has never been sick EVER.  We've been married for 27 years. We will fight. We will win and we will get through this.  Our first oncology appointment is Jan 7. We don't know what to expect but I know that WE will get through this together. Come what may, we will get through this.